I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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