Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
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