just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Randomize
