im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
