Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
