so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
