So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
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I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
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Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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