There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
