you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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