Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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