I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Nobody cheats on THIS.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
