Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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