just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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