Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
sex in a hospital.. check
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
