He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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