Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
