If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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