Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
