Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
