ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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