all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
