Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
