Swine flu. Run for my life!
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize