I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize