That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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