i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked my hip out of place.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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