Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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