Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
