think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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