Dual....:-)
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
