Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
