you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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