Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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