Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
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this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
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We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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