i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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