Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
im about as happy as oj after his trial
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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