I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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