Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Farmville is her only friend.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
