They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
