Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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