dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
