I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Boobs speak an international language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize