Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
