AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
this just has baby written all over it
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
