All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
