apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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