Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
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