I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
