Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Randomize