Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
