hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
