Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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