so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
