turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
