she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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