We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
