Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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