Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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