Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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