i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
she looked like the before picture.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
